Monday, February 12, 2018

You are Just Your Husband's Help Meet: A Mompreneur's Thoughts

If you read my last blog post, you would know that I was in a funk. I can't really put my finger on exactly why. I just know that some little comments from perhaps well meaning people in my life, pushed me over the edge. I was on the verge of depression. The comment that hurt the most was when my friend of more than 3 decades said that my purpose in life was to simply be my husband's help meet. She also insinuated that the success of our business had not as much to do with me but instead had everything to do with him, meaning, whether or not I was in his life, she believes the business would still have reached its current levels. I wondered how could she think those things and or believe them, if she truly wants the best for me.

Those comments left me asking myself, does my life have meaning? 100 years from now will I be remembered? Does it matter whether or not I contribute and should I even be concerned about if my contributions are properly attributed to me? What have I done with all the God given talents bottled up inside of me? Did I waste my talents?

We all want to know the meaning and purpose of our existence. Why are we here? Is it just to be some one's help meet. I pondered for a long time. Such dilemmas regarding ones purpose are common. Unfortunately, it is also all too common for a woman's worth to be underestimated and unfortunately relegated to the the shadow of her man, no matter how much she contributes. I am an equal partner in my company, have been from the very beginning. I work just as hard as my husband and I have set the vision for this company many times over. Because of my attention to detail, we have been awarded numerous funding that has allowed our company to reinvest for major capital improvements. Yet, I am still seen as the secretary or the help meet, as she so carelessly phrased.

I am here to say that though I am my husband's help meet, he is mines also. We are here to help each other get ahead. I am talented and my creative spirit feels like a corralled champion thoroughbred, waiting to escape.  I am fully aware that God gave me these talents for a reason. But I am also aware that God gave me this man for a reason, as well. When he needed me to leave my career and put my attention on our family business, I did. This decision is a mere example of how I have sacrificed some fundamental passions. Once the family business is stabilized, I do believe that he will do the same for me. Why, because I have seen him show love to me and our girls in multiple ways. He cares for us as he does himself. Success in business without success in marriage and life is no success at all. A broken man equates to a broken marriage. I hedged my bet.

I have to remain grounded and focused and not allow comments such as these to affect me on a guttural level. It's hard. It will take time and perhaps it will take my recognizing that all that matters in the end is the legacy we leave to our family and our community. We stand on the shoulders of giants and in no way do we want our contributions to weaken the foundation of those who came before us.

So, should I be concerned if my contributions are properly attributed to me? NO. Does my life have meaning? YES. Am I just a help meet? NO. Will I follow my passions? YES. Will my husband be supportive when that time comes. Resoundingly, YES.

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